How Students Can Accept Criticism and Grow

Accepting criticism is a challenging feat, especially for kids and adolescents, whose developing brains tend to be extra sensitive to feedback. How can parents of online students help children learn how to cope with the feedback they will inevitably face as they continue to grow academically and personally? They can equip them with the mental and emotional skills needed to persevere and grow from it. Need a few tips on how to teach a child to accept criticism? You’re in good company. Keep reading for a few ways parents of online students can provide their children with constructive feedback and help them hone their ability to accept criticism in a healthy manner.

Constructive vs. Destructive Criticism for Students

Criticism can be beneficial or damaging for a young mind; therefore, parents should strive to provide their online students with constructive criticism, which is uplifting, specific, and offers solutions. Destructive criticism, which is harsh, disrespectful, and often vague, is a challenge that parents should prepare their children to deal with but should try not to be the source of this type of criticism themselves.

Providing Online Students with Constructive Criticism

Students who routinely experience criticism at home respond better to it elsewhere because they are able to identify whether it is constructive or destructive, are not surprised by it, and are not as likely to take it personally.

Constructive vs. Destructive Criticism for Students

Criticism can be beneficial or damaging for a young mind; therefore, parents should strive to provide their online students with constructive criticism, which is uplifting, specific, and offers solutions. Destructive criticism, which is harsh, disrespectful, and often vague, is a challenge that parents should prepare their children to deal with but should try not to be the source of this type of criticism themselves.

Tips for Offering Constructive Feedback to Students

Focus on Observable Behavior, Not Personality

When providing feedback, it’s best to focus on your child’s actions or behaviors instead of their personality traits.

For instance, rather than telling your student, “You’re mean,” say, “I was disappointed when you called your sister names because she has trouble saying certain words.”

In another situation, Learning Coaches might avoid the personality assessment of “you’re lazy,” and instead say, “I’m concerned because you haven’t completed any of the assignments you said you would within the last hour.”

By focusing on a child’s behavior rather than their personality, the child is less likely to feel judged and more likely to spend time considering your feedback.

Reflect Before Offering Feedback

If you’re a parent and Learning Coach, you will spend more time with your child than almost anyone else. While most days you may consider this a blessing, it’s understandable if you’re occasionally short fused. If you feel frustrated or overwhelmed, consider waiting before giving your student feedback. This way, you avoid saying something you can’t take back.

Instead, take a few deep breaths and ask yourself the following questions before addressing your student, to make sure your interaction will be constructive rather than destructive:

How am I feeling? Is it wise to have an important conversation with my child while I feel this way?
What am I hoping to achieve with this feedback?

Is my criticism constructive (uplifting, specific, offers solutions) or simply my opinion?
Is what I plan to say true? Is it helpful? Kind?

After some thought, you may still feel strongly that your immediate feedback is required. That’s OK! If not, wait until any frustration you have regarding the situation has dissipated before choosing another time to speak with your student.

Teaching Students to Accept Criticism and Feedback

Improving one’s ability to accept criticism and grow from feedback is an ongoing process. Parents can help their online students cope with criticism by addressing how their child perceives feedback and teaching them how to approach criticism as an opportunity for growth.

Practical Strategies for How to Accept Criticism for Kids

Emphasize the Power of a Growth Mindset

According to Stanford psychologist and researcher Carol Dweck, a student’s ability to accept criticism depends on whether they have a fixed or growth mindset. While students with a fixed mindset may view criticism personally and negatively, children with a growth mindset are empowered to use feedback to grow and improve.

Ask Students to Pause and Reflect on the Criticism

When considering how to accept criticism for kids, encourage your student to pause and reflect using this rule of thumb: The stronger their emotional reaction (if any) to criticism, the longer they should wait before responding. Restating the criticism buys a little time, but they shouldn’t be afraid to say, “I need some time to think over what you said. Can we discuss it further tomorrow?” Then, reviewing the critical comment(s), they should ask themself the following: Was the criticism valid? Was it fair? Do I agree with some parts but not others? Did I give this assignment, game, or chore my best effort? Is my critic impartial and qualified to comment?

Leave Room for Students to Ask for Advice

Encourage your student to ask the person providing the feedback for suggestions on how they can improve. Assuming they approach the person with an open mind and sincere interest in improvement, this exercise demonstrates character and may provide them with new ideas or solutions.