5 Ways to Choose the Right Musical Instrument for Your Child

by Valerie Kirk

5 min to read
A father is playing guitar with his daughter

Children are naturally drawn to music. Ask any parent, and they can probably still sing the words to the song their child was obsessed with when they were toddlers. From “Baby Shark” to “Let It Go”, songs capture the attention of small children, calm them down, soothe them to sleep, and help them focus. 

There are so many benefits to fostering a love of music in kids! A recent study found that kids who were exposed to music in early childhood had accelerated brain development, and developed better reading and communication skills. Rhythms and melodies help kids memorize phrases and grasp language patterns, leading to better language acquisition.  

The Benefits of Playing an Instrument

There are more benefits when your child chooses to play a musical instrument. That same study found that music training whether through school programs or private lessons—had a positive impact on a child’s social, emotional, and cognitive development.  and cognitive development.  

Music is a language that is often learned and enjoyed with other children. Melodies can elicit a range of emotions from joy and excitement to peace and reflection, giving kids the opportunity to experience— and adjust to—new feelings.  

Other benefits for kids who learn to play a musical instrument include:  

  • Improved fine motor skills. Children have to hold and manipulate an instrument properly for it to work, which improves coordination and fine motor skills. When thinking about how to choose a musical instrument for your child, the size of both the instrument and your child do come into play.  
  • Better organizational and study skills. Learning to play an instrument requires patience and practice. Kids quickly grasp that practice time is a time of focus, a study skill that transfers over when studying other subjects. Kids also have to organize their schedules around practice time, which helps them take ownership of their progress. Connections Academy® students can schedule practice time around their lessons and other obligations, further empowering them and teaching them how to balance their schedules.  
  • A boost in self-confidence and self-esteem. Learning to play an instrument is not easy—but it is so rewarding! Kids who choose a musical instrument to learn can hear their progress, which boosts their self-esteem. Plus, kids who are part of a band or orchestra come to understand the vital role they play in the overall performance—the importance of being part of a team—further boosting their self-confidence and self-esteem. The piece wouldn’t sound the same without their contribution.  
An online student taking a virtual music lesson.

Choosing the Right Musical Instrument

From drums to the harp, there are so many instruments to choose from, leaving parents wondering how to pick a musical instrument for their child to learn. There are many steps to consider when choosing a musical instrument, but perhaps the most important one is to get your child involved in the decision. Learning to play an instrument requires commitment and practice, and kids have to be engaged with learning the instrument to make that commitment. This starts with empowering them to choose a musical instrument to learn that interests them.    

Here are five ways to choose the right musical instrument for your child learn:  

1. Expose Them to Different Types of Music

Kids often don’t know which instruments make which sounds. By listening to different kinds of music and taking them to age-appropriate concerts and musical shows, they can start to pick up on the different instruments that work together to create a song. Help them by pointing out the different instruments. Point out the drum, guitar, or piano during solos. When you hear an orchestra, tell them that the higher notes they are hearing are coming from the violin and viola, and the lower tones are from the cello and bass. Woodwind instruments like the clarinet and saxophone make a different sound than brass instruments like the trumpet and trombone. Hearing the different sounds that different instruments make can help spark an interest in a particular instrument your child may want to learn.

2. Be Practical

Some musical instruments can be big and bulky and require more mature fine motor skills. When choosing a musical instrument for your child, keep in mind how they will hold and transport the instrument. Guitars are a wonderful first instrument to learn, but they are a bit bigger, so they may be harder to hold for a child with a smaller frame.  Good first instruments for smaller hands include the piano, drums, flute, violin, and ukulele. But if your child is interested in a larger instrument, consider exploring scaled down versions that fit their hand size.  

3. Be Different

Kids who don’t have an interest in the more traditional or popular instruments like the piano or drums may be drawn to instruments that are more unique. Have you ever seen a bassoon or heard of an oboe? These are unique instruments! The bass clarinet and French horn both make wonderful sounds but aren’t often chosen by students. When thinking about how to choose a musical instrument to learn, search out the more unique instruments for your unique child to help spark an interest in learning how to play an instrument.

4. Go for a Test Ride

Music stores want your child to play an instrument! They also want to make sure that the instrument they choose is one that they will love. Most stores will let you give instruments a test run in the store so your child can hear the sounds they make. This also helps them see if they can hold the instrument properly. Music stores often have a rent-to-own program, so if you decide your child doesn’t like the instrument and would rather try something else after a few months, you can exchange it for a different one.  

5. Don’t Be Afraid of Change

Your child may change their mind over time—and that’s OK! It isn’t uncommon for a child to start learning on one instrument, but as they grow and become more immersed in playing music, they may decide to try another instrument. This is especially true if your child starts learning to play an instrument in elementary school. It’s easier for smaller kids to start playing the piano or drums (usually on a drum kit), but as they grow and mature, they can move to larger instruments and those that require more lung capacity, like woodwinds or brass instruments.   

A child learning to play guitar.

Feeding Your Child’s Inner Musician

Online school offers many opportunities to foster a love of music and support your child’s musical interests. Connections Academy offers online music clubs to help your child connect with other musically talented students. Online school students also have more flexibility to practice on their schedule and to participate in community musical groups and choirs.  

Attend one of our virtual information sessions to learn more about how online school can help your child feed their love of music.  

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  • Helping Kids with Social Anxiety in a Post-Pandemic World

    by Karen Muston

    Parents helping their child with social anxiety in a post-pandemic world.

    It’s a common dream—the dream of arriving at work in our pajamas or forgetting everything we needed to know for a big presentation or performance. We wake up with our hearts pounding and palms sweating, still overcome by the humiliation we felt in the dream. 

    Those types of dreams usually occur as a reaction to stressful or anxious situations, but the feelings of humiliation and embarrassment experienced in the dream seem very real. Those who have Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) experience a similar fear daily while interacting with their peers. Social Anxiety is an intense fear of being negatively judged, rejected, or embarrassed by others in social situations. Symptoms can range from blushing and rapid heart rate to nausea, sleep disturbance, and avoidance of social situations.    

     

    Social Anxiety Disorder in Children 

    As the third most common mental health disorder (after depression and substance abuse), over 12% of the population suffer from symptoms of social anxiety every day, with numbers of social anxiety since COVID and reentry anxiety rising as students return to their school campuses and our nation begins to find some normalcy in a post-pandemic world. Signs of kids with social anxiety usually begin to show between the ages of eight and fifteen, which is the developmental stage when adolescents typically feel more self-aware and self-conscious. What is reentry anxiety? It’s the anxiety students feel about re-entering public spaces like school or other gathering places now that most COVID restrictions have lifted.  

    There is a difference between kids who are shy and those who have a social anxiety disorder. It’s normal to be nervous about meeting new people, giving a speech in class, or interacting with a group of strangers. When there is a fear so intense that it keeps kids from functioning or performing tasks, that’s a strong sign of a kid with social anxiety. For instance, when a student doesn’t try out for the volleyball team because they are worried about being scrutinized, even though they love volleyball, they could be suffering from social anxiety. Other examples include not asking the teacher a question for fear of sounding unintelligent or seeing a group of friends laughing and imagining they are mocking them even when reassured that they are not. A shy person will eventually warm up to people, while those with social anxiety will not.   

     

    Post-Pandemic Anxiety Disorders  

    Those with social anxiety before the pandemic may have found that the pandemic allowed for too much time to “overthink” instead of socialize, causing their condition to worsen. Even those who showed no signs of dealing with social anxiety before the pandemic may have developed Social Anxiety Disorder during the isolation of quarantine. For instance, academically successful students who didn’t show symptoms of social phobia pre-COVID may now have post-COVID social anxiety because of the uncertainty in their ability to succeed after months of being removed from a system where they felt successful. Some kids may fear socializing post pandemic—after months in isolation, they may fear that their appearance has changed and that they will be judged by their peers, while others may fear a loss of friendships due to the passing of time when they were unable to maintain their former relationships.  

    The pandemic affected every child in some way. For some, the pandemic meant more time at home with their families, and they still were able to communicate with and spend time with friends. Kids who were already enrolled in virtual school before the pandemic began were ahead of the game when it came to their education and, as a result, saw fewer disruptions in their everyday learning routines. Because their school routine didn’t change drastically, they may not experience the reentry anxiety or other COVID anxiety kids in brick-and-mortar schools are experiencing.  

    For others, the pandemic dramatically impacted the central hub for socialization and emotional development in the childhood years—in-person school—which looked very different. Gone were the casual hallway conversations with peers, opportunities for classroom discussions, field trips, and so many traditional social opportunities and milestones. In some states, in-person schools were closed for nearly two years, leading to what is now considered a social anxiety pandemic. Now that these schools have mostly reopened, they are seeing a sharp rise in kids with social anxiety and behavioral issues, including fighting.

    Along with change in everyday childhood norms, many children experienced trauma during the pandemic, such as the loss of loved ones, divorce, poverty, and relocation to different neighborhoods and cities.  

     

    The Impact of COVID-19 and Social Anxiety on Students 

    Kids have more emotional challenges when faced with the types of sudden life changes that happened during the pandemic. Sudden changes trigger elevated levels of cortisol in the brain, which activates our “fight or flight” reactions. There is a natural defensive reaction during transitions, when kids subconsciously prepare themselves for the next sudden change that might come along. With time, we should see fewer behavior issues and post-pandemic anxiety in brick-and-mortar schools as kids settle into their normal routines, receive mental health support and resources, and tap into their natural ability to adapt to whatever comes their way.  

     

    How Virtual Learning Can Support Students with Anxiety Disorders 

    Students who attend virtual school tend to feel more in control of their social interactions, which can help symptoms of social anxiety. For instance, at Connections Academy® schools, students can socialize within the virtual classroom through online classroom discussions and LiveLesson® sessions, which can remove the focus on physical appearance or acceptance by peers that leads to kids with social anxiety. They can also choose to socialize at in-person events such as field trips and school programs, which is a fantastic way to practice social skills.   

    School staff can support students who are experiencing social anxiety or reentry anxiety by being sensitive to their needs. Establish clear rules against bullying, harassment, and discrimination to ensure students feel safe. Assign groups or pairs instead of allowing students to choose partners for themselves, to ensure that nobody feels excluded. Be sure to reward participation and encourage those who are reluctant to participate without shaming those who choose not to participate. Kids who feel safe in their learning environment are less likely to feel anxious.   
     

    How to Support Kids with Social Anxiety  

    Here are some ways you can help your child manage symptoms of social anxiety: 

    • Teach your child relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, guided imagery (imagine a fun adventure), or progressive muscle relaxation.  
    • Practice reframing; find a way to turn a negative thought into a positive one.  
    • Teach problem-solving skills and how to identify the triggers that cause their anxiety.  
    • Work on friendship skills, such as starting conversations, being a good listener, and asking questions.  
    • Avoid too much technology. While it can be just as fulfilling to socialize with people virtually, it’s easy to use technology to avoid social situations. It’s best to try to find a healthy balance by making both in-person and virtual connections.  

    Be sure to get help if you think your child has social anxiety. Left untreated, social anxiety can control their life. It can lead to depression, low self-esteem, drug or alcohol abuse, and trouble in careers and relationships. Social Anxiety Disorder is often treated through behavioral therapy, which helps kids learn to manage their emotions and to develop coping skills they can use their entire lives. 

    Connections Academy offers online licensed school counselors for every student. Reach out to your school counselor or consult with a local mental health expert if your child shows signs of social anxiety.  

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