Suicide, Self-Harm, and Kids: Know the Warning Signs & Where to Go for Help

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Children may not follow or understand everything in the news, but they do notice changes in their own worlds. Disruptions that change expectations, such as not planning the family’s annual summer vacation, or traumatic changes, such as the loss of loved ones, can cause feelings of insecurity that become long-lasting anxiety in young children.  

May is National Mental Health Month, and if your child is anxious, try to ease their feelings of anxiety by using these time-tested approaches recommended by Connections Academy® online school counselors and other experts(opens in a new tab). 

 

What Does Anxiety Look Like in Kids?

To properly deal with the issue of mental health, you first need to learn to recognize the signs of anxiety in children. Some concern or fear about the world is natural and appropriate for a child, such as a fear of strangers. But true anxiety manifests when these fears are amplified and long-lasting. An anxious child is constantly on the lookout for a looming threat, locked in a state of exhausting vigilance. 

A few weeks of fear or worry in a child usually isn’t cause for concern, but when that worry persists it can be time to seek help.  

Here are some signs that a child’s anxiety has become an issue: 

• Racing heart 
• Shortness of breath 
• Sweating 
• Headaches or stomachaches(opens in a new tab) 
• Difficulty concentrating 
• Trouble sleeping 
• Seeking reassurance (“Will we be okay?”) 
• Tantrums, meltdowns, or acting out 
• Irritability or agitation 
• Wanting to skip school 
• Frequent comments about death or dying 

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says(opens in a new tab) exactly what causes anxiety in kids is unknown. Many factors may play a role, including biology and temperament. It is known that some children are more likely to develop anxiety after experiencing trauma or stress, when they are abused, when they are being bullied or have been rejected by other children, or when their parents exhibit anxiety. 

Treating an anxiety disorder(opens in a new tab), typically diagnosed upon signs of anxiety in middle school, usually requires an individualized plan for a combination of interventions, the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry says. Treatment may include cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy, family therapy, and in severe cases, a combination of therapy and medication. 

 

Helping Kids Deal with Anxiety

While it isn’t possible to eliminate anxiety completely, the goal is to help your child develop the tools they need to manage their anxiety. When occasional worry turns into chronic anxiety, most children will watch their parents for cues to determine when and how much they should worry. Reassure your child that everyone has stress and anxiety and demonstrate how you handle anxiety calmly and with the assurance that you can work through whatever it is together. 

A certain amount of anxiety can be helpful(opens in a new tab) and can motivate us, but research has proven that, left unchecked, anxiety can have a negative impact on the body(opens in a new tab). 

Let your child know that it’s okay to be afraid, but that they have the strength and courage to get through difficult situations. Openly discuss your child’s fears and anxieties, then help your child talk through some ways to manage them. 

 

What to Do for a Child with Anxiety

Child psychiatrists suggest parents can help a child with anxiety by talking about it and then gradually exposing them to what is upsetting them. They should validate their child’s fears so they will feel free to talk about them.  

Don’t characterize your child’s feelings by asking “Is this making you anxious?” or “Are you scared about this?” Instead, encourage your child to express their own thoughts. Say, “I wonder what you’re thinking about it, and how you’re feeling about it.” 

Once you identify a situation that may cause your child anxiety, try to expose him or her to that situation tactfully. Start with minimal exposure. If there’s an upcoming event or change in their life that worries your child, read books or articles about similar events. Take them to where it is to be held. Maybe drive by one day and, if it’s allowed, stop and visit another day before the event takes place. 

On the day of the event, encourage your child to attend for a predetermined amount of time, and be ready to go or to pick them up at the agreed-upon time. They may surprise you and decide to stay. 

Gradually exposing your child to a situation that may cause anxiety helps them work on coping skills. 

 

How to Reduce Anxiety in Kids

Consider these tips for how to manage everyday anxiety in kids:

 

Establish a routine.

Having a general idea of what to expect each day can be comforting. Whether your family is distance learning for the first time or regularly attends online school or homeschools, having a structured daily schedule is beneficial. Be sure to include self-care when establishing a routine in your home. Create healthy habits that include a balanced diet and regular mealtimes, regular exercise, and plenty of sleep.

 

Limit exposure to media and news reports.

This is a good time to teach your child about reliable sources of information. Ask your child to come to you instead of social media if he or she has a question about issues in the news. You can also set a limit on your child’s screen time(opens in a new tab) or how much news your family is exposed to each day. 

 

Teach deep breathing.

Studies show that slow, deep breathing can help(opens in a new tab) curb physical symptoms of anxiety, like a racing heartbeat. Teach your child to stop and take a few slow, deep breaths in through their nose and out through their mouth. Teach young children by reminding them of blowing bubbles with a wand and how softly they need to blow to get a nice big bubble. Teenagers might engage in other self-help, like yoga or other physical exercise, or use a mindfulness or meditation app, like Headspace(opens in a new tab) or Calm(opens in a new tab). 

 

Hug it out.

Human touch, especially between parent and child, can do wonders(opens in a new tab). Physical touching releases oxytocin, a feel-good hormone, and reduces cortisol, a stress hormone. Give your child a long hug, and you’ll feel them relax. During the hug, empathize with your child. Afterward, tell them that when you’re not there, they can hug themselves or hold their hands together and they can start to feel better.  

 

Understanding Kids and Anxiety and Spreading Awareness

Often, when learning how to teach kids to cope with anxiety, it is helpful to seek professional help and resources. Anxiety differs from person to person, and treating social anxiety could require different techniques than treating generalized anxiety or specific phobias.  

To help online students find the most success both in the classroom and in their personal lives, Connections Academy® offers access to licensed counselors and mental health experts who are here to give students the tools they need to get a handle on their anxiety.  

If you would like to learn more about how to help kids with anxiety, here are some additional resources for you and your family: 

• American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry’s Anxiety Disorders Resource Center(opens in a new tab) includes a glossary of terms, FAQs, treatment resources, articles, videos, research, books, etc.  
• National Institute of Mental Health Digital Shareables on Anxiety Disorders(opens in a new tab) include infographics, videos, brochures and fact sheets, statistics, and more. 
• Anxiety & Depression Association of America(opens in a new tab) (ADAA) resources include blog posts written by ADAA professional members, monthly webinars, self-help books, downloadable infographics, and a free monthly e-newsletter. 
• National Alliance on Mental Illness’s 2022 Mental Health Awareness Month Partner Guide(opens in a new tab) for participating in May’s Mental Health Awareness Month. 
• Helping Your Anxious Child: A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents(opens in a new tab), by Ronald Rapee, Ann Wignall, Susan Spence, Vanessa Cobham and Heidi Lyneham. 

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Whether it’s test day, a major assignment is due, the Internet is down, or things just aren’t going as planned, school-related stress can affect students of all ages. Fortunately, there are unique opportunities for Learning Coaches and students in online school to identify the symptoms of stress and learn how to manage stress in school. 

Download our Stress Management Tips

 

What Causes Stress in School Students?

The Mayo Clinic reassures parents that experiencing stress, while unpleasant, is a normal reaction to all types of challenging situations. Anything from a new routine, test anticipation, challenging assignments, social pressures, a busy schedule, arguments with siblings, or even just being tired can trigger stress in school students. Students can even stress over positive events, like accepting an achievement award or going on vacation. 

Some students experience stress as a motivating factor, while for others, it can severely disrupt the school day. Prolonged stress can adversely impact health and academic performance. 

 

Symptoms of Stress in School Students

The first thing to know about how to manage stress in school is how to identify the signs and symptoms of stress. Stress manifests differently from person to person. According to KidsHealth®, these are a few of the more common symptoms of stress in children: 

• Mood swings 
• Acting out 
• Headaches 
• Stomachaches 
• Difficulty concentrating 
• Developing self-soothing habits 
• Becoming withdrawn 
• Difficulty sleeping or nightmares 
• A sudden change in academic performance 

Learning how to manage stress in school helps students become resilient adults. Here are our favorite tips for how to get less stressed in school. Although meant to reduce stress for students in elementary, middle, and high school, these techniques can help students, and even adults, of all ages. 

 

How to Manage Stress in Elementary School Students

Younger elementary school students are mostly getting used to the routine of the school day. But in later elementary grades, the responsibilities required of schoolwork and thoughts of disappointing parents or teachers can be stressful. Teaching students at this age how to manage stress in school can help them adjust to online, virtual, or traditional schooling without getting overwhelmed. 

 

Listen to calming music when it’s time to focus.

Music can help young learners get used to moving from one task to another. Music can also help students study. Try getting ready for the school day with upbeat music and switching to instrumental or downtempo music when working on individual assignments that require focus.  

 

Plan breaks to do things that aren’t school-related.

It’s unrealistic to expect a first- or second-grader to sit still through a full day of live virtual lessons. That’s why it’s important to schedule snack breaks, playtime, game time, or other activities that are not learning-focused throughout the day. Stress-management games for students can be as simple as taking a break to play a card or board game before beginning the next lesson. Set time limits for breaks so that students know when it’s time to move on to the next task. 

 

Relax and learn mindfulness through sensory experiences.

One of the best ways to reduce stress for students is through mindful activities that activate the senses, taking the focus away from whatever is causing stress at the moment. Sensory activities for children include playing with modeling clay or Play-Doh, playing in a sandbox, going on a nature walk, painting, making lunch together, sorting objects or toys, or even playing a musical instrument. Weighted blankets, wobble stools, and headphones can also be a part of a calming sensory classroom for young children to increase focus and reduce stress. 

 

How to Manage Stress in Middle School Students

As students advance to middle school, they begin to take on more challenging classes. Middle school students may also experience social pressure in school, so planning activities designed to reduce stress for students this age can be extremely important. 

 

Exercise during the school day to release endorphins.

Most, but not all, U.S. middle schools still offer physical education (PE) programs to help children meet recommended levels of physical activity. Some students at Connections Academy play organized sports or engage in serious athletic training as a part of their daily schedule. Exercise doesn’t have to be extremely structured to make a difference. A simple activity, like taking a walk or bike ride around the neighborhood, can help students blow off steam before their next class. 

 

Practice asking teachers and other adults for help.

Students sometimes have a hard time speaking up in class, particularly at middle school age. Students can overcome the challenges of speaking out and build their support networks at school by learning to ask for help. Online students have access to their Learning Coach, teachers, and school counselors at Connections Academy when they have a question or need extra help. 

You can help a shy child by rehearsing sample situations or helping them create some scripted things to say. Talk to your child’s teachers about what you’ll be doing to help your child, so you’ll be on the same page. Asking for help gives students a new perspective, lets them know they are not alone, and encourages them to keep looking for solutions when things get tough. 

 

Relax before bedtime and get plenty of sleep.

Ensuring that your child is getting enough sleep often goes a long way toward managing stress in school. Kids 6–13 years old should get 9–11 hours of sleep each night and teens need 8–10 hours. To ensure a restful night of sleep, students should take time to wind down before going to bed. Limiting use of technology and exposure to blue light i.e., screens—right before bed and talking out any current worries are two steps toward better sleep. 

 

How to Manage Stress in High School Students

High school students enjoy an increased level of independence, but they are also preparing for graduation, and beyond that, college, service, or the workforce. Add the social life and peer pressure that accompany the teenage years, and you have the main causes of stress in high school. In addition to continuing the stress management techniques above, especially getting enough exercise and sleep, building resilience is a big part of how to manage stress in high school students. 

 

Break large assignments into smaller, more manageable tasks.

One of the most important skills a high school student can learn that will help to reduce stress is time management. Students should create a schedule that prioritizes their assignments, live virtual classes, extracurriculars, and other tasks to ensure they can get everything done in a timely manner. Daily planning can become part of a morning routine, or those who like to get a head start might schedule time at the beginning of each week. Having a plan can keep students from finding themselves overwhelmed by multitasking. For larger projects, setting mini goals for completing parts of the overall assignment can help reduce stress and guard against procrastination. Want to give it a try? Check out these five sample online school schedules. 

 

Use checklists and celebrate the day’s accomplishments.

Checking off a task on a list is a simple yet incredibly effective positive reinforcement. And everything is less stressful when you feel like things are going well. Daily checklists and journaling can reassure students when stress starts to creep in. Reflecting on accomplishments at the end of the day can motivate students to get back at it tomorrow. Using these stress-management tools will remind students what is within their control so they can chip away at their to-do lists instead of worrying. 

 

 Be a part of the community.

A high school student who feels like they are part of something bigger than themselves will have less inclination to look inward and stress. Teens feel like they are not alone and have a role to play when they are connected to a diverse group of friends and reach beyond their social groups by volunteering, coaching / mentoring younger students, or working a part-time job. Being involved in the community around them gives high school students more incentive to overcome setbacks and to remain optimistic that they ultimately control their academic careers.  

Getting started with these activities is an easy way to begin to reduce stress for students of all ages. And Connections Academy is here to help. Our online Resource Hub is all about helping you create a stimulating learning environment and community that fosters achievement, growth, and resiliency for your online student. 

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