4 Tips for Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
byAlyssa Austin
4 min to read
Emotional intelligence has proven to be an integral social ability for fostering connection, creating relationships, and even developing a stronger sense of self-awareness for children.
If you are wondering how to raise an emotionally intelligent child, read on to learn more about the importance of emotional intelligence and four great tips on how to build emotional intelligence from early childhood through adolescence and into young adulthood.
What Is Emotional Intelligence?
According to VeryWellMind.com, emotional intelligence is “the ability to perceive, express and regulate emotions.” It can play a crucial role in the development of relationships, the ability to empathetically interact with others, the execution of successful social interactions, and an individual’s overall capability for human connection.
Is It Possible to Teach Emotional Intelligence to Kids?
While it’s argued that some individuals are born with a more natural sense of emotional intelligence, it’s also true that emotional intelligence—like most skills—can be taught! This is especially true for kids. By creating an environment for positive social emotional development in early childhood and continuing (or even starting) the process of teaching, modeling, and coaching on emotionally intelligent behavior, parents and teachers can help instill higher emotional intelligence in their kids.
4 Tips for Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
Looking for some actionable ways to model, teach, and talk about emotional intelligence for kids? Check out these four strategies:
1. Make the home a safe space to talk about emotions.
Like many learned behaviors, emotional intelligence is taught first at home. It’s important to establish an environment where emotional expression is not just okay, it is welcomed. A great way to initiate this in your home is by creating and reinforcing a family motto about emotions. Something like “In this house, we are allowed to feel our feelings” or “We believe having emotions is healthy!” Having a family motto that promotes a positive attitude about emotional expression can help with teaching emotional intelligence in early childhood and beyond. A family motto can also be especially helpful to come back to in teen years when your child starts dealing with new, complex social and emotional experiences.
2. Encourage curiosity about emotions.
One of the best ways to create positive association with emotional expression is by encouraging curiosity around emotions. If your child says they are feeling sad, prompt them to share why. If your child is expressing anger at a scenario, ask them to share what feeling they think that is. The more an open dialogue around emotions can be fostered, the better your child will become at recognizing unique emotional experiences.
This type of curiosity can also be modeled by parents and teachers by making observations on their own emotions and sharing that commentary with their kids. Creating these kinds of shared emotional connections is a great way to model emotional intelligence for kids.
3. Use external stories and scenarios as learning opportunities.
Another great practice for raising an emotionally intelligent child is to prompt discussions around emotions and feelings when watching TV, reading a book, or perceiving new experiences together. For example, if you are reading a book with your second grader, take pauses to ask them what they think certain characters may be feeling and why. You can also encourage empathy by asking your child questions like, “How do you think you would feel in that situation?”—all while keeping an atmosphere of positivity and curiosity.
4. Teach positive and productive ways of dealing with emotions.
In addition to being transparent and inclusive when talking about felt emotions, it’s also important to model productive ways to deal with emotions. For example, if you are vocalizing a feeling of frustration, also vocalize how you are planning to deal with this emotion: “I feel frustrated that no one is listening to me right now. Instead of getting angry, I’m going to wait until the room is quiet before doing anything else.” Or, “I’m so happy to see that you completed this homework assignment! I’m going to share my happiness with you by giving you a high five!” Connecting the cause and effect of emotional experiences can help children learn how to process their own emotions.
As you can see, raising an emotionally intelligent child isn’t a “one and done” effort. Rather, teaching, modeling, and encouraging emotional intelligence for kids is an ongoing journey, but these four tips will certainly help you build a strong foundation for the process.
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